


Meet the Parrots

by sakuuya



Category: Battle for London in the Air (Roleplay)
Genre: Boys I’m so sorry you fell victim to my inability to write normal romance, M/M, Parrots, mild parrot swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27421036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakuuya/pseuds/sakuuya
Summary: If two bachelors are going to live together, it’s important that their pets be able to coexist as well. That’s a problem when one of those pets is Alcibiades the parrot, who’s 400g of pure menace.
Relationships: Dr. Irving Suttler/Chauncey Spencer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Meet the Parrots

“You’ll be good when Chauncey gets here, won’t you?” Irving meant to sound friendly, but he could tell that the words came out weak and pleading. 

“ _No!_ ” Alcibiades shrieked from his perch above the sink. Irving screwed his eyes shut. Sometimes Alcibiades was noisy simply for the sake of making noise, but far too often, the parrot was intentionally, knowingly contrary. Irving was sure of it.

“Please, Alcibiades?” The doctor asked with a sigh, too nervous to even pretend that he was in charge here. “Chauncey always says such nice things about Monty, and I don’t want them to be scared off by what a little terror you are.”

“ _Terrible!_ ”

The likelihood of Chauncey Spencer actually being frightened was slight, no matter how beastly Alcibiades decided to be. But there was, Irving felt, a distinct possibility that Chauncey might take Alcibiades’ antisocial behavior as a sign that Irving was an unsuitable partner after all. Irving let out another sigh. Animals usually liked him—even the llama he’d briefly lived with in university had barely ever bitten him. It was just his luck that the most evil-tempered animal he’d ever met also happened to be his longest-lived pet.

A chorus of barks from the front room alerted him to Chauncey’s arrival before the man even knocked. He opened the kitchen door just a crack and squeezed out so that Alcibiades wouldn’t follow him. Immediately, he was accosted by the much friendlier but no less intrusive attention of a pair of dogs. They’d been confined to this room while Irving puttered anxiously around the kitchen for the last hour. Alcibiades took vicious joy in tormenting Mallow when he was in a bad mood, and he wasn’t even cowed by Earl Gray, who could probably swallow him whole but was far too gentle to do so.

Mallow and Earl Grey’s overwhelming doggy happiness at Irving’s presence was something of a comfort, at least. It was nice knowing that _someone_ wanted him around. They even sat when he commanded them to, which felt like a victory after all the energy he’d wasted trying to convince Alcibiades to behave.

Irving straightened his blue tie and took a deep breath before he opened the door. “Hello, Mr. Spencer, how nice to see you this afternoon!”

“A good afternoon to you as well, Dr. Suttler,” Chauncey said, smirking through the too-formal salutation. “I hope I find you in good health.” The fact that he was, just, absurdly handsome didn’t do anything to calm Irving’s nerves.

There was a large green macaw perched on Chuancey’s shoulder, a beautiful enough specimen to tear Irving’s gaze away from Chauncey’s gorgeous brown eyes after a moment. “And this must be Monty,” Irving said as he ushered Chauncey in, then shut and locked the front door.

“Yep, this is him! Say hello, Monty!”

“ _Hello, Monty!_ ” Monty whistled. His speech wasn’t as clear as Alcibiades’, but his manners were obviously miles better.

“These are my dogs—well, the corgi is mine. Mallow. Earl Grey, the St. Bernard, used to belong to Thaddeus Beck, but I adopted him… after.”

“They’re both lovely.” Chauncey leaned down to set the dogs sniff his hands, and Monty flew off his shoulder onto one of Alcibiades’ perches. The bird didn’t try to bully Mallow, though, which was a nice change of pace.

“They’re excellent company,” Irving agreed, giving Earl Gray a scratch behind the ears. “If… If I ever were to live with someone else, they wouldn’t be a burden.”

Chauncey’s smile was so luminous that Irving felt he might go blind.

“But I’m afraid I didn’t invite Monty here to meet Mallow and Earl Grey. If we…” he couldn’t even finish that thought, as though voicing it aloud would cause it to pop like a soap bubble. “He should really meet Alcibiades. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to keep two parrots who didn’t get along in the same flat. Alcibiades is enough of a terror on his own.”

“You keep telling me that, but I’m sure it’ll come out fine.” Chauncey gestured to Monty, who resumed his perch on Chauncey’s shoulder. He held his other arm out to Irving like the doctor was a lady he was bringing to a ball. “Shall we?”

Irving took the proffered arm, but it was awkward getting back in the kitchen. He didn’t want to open the door too wide and let the dogs bound in or Alcibiades fly out. Still, he kept ahold of Chauncey.

“Hello, Alcibiades,” Irving said as sweetly as he could muster.

“ _Go away! Arsehole!_ ”

“Where did he learn to say a thing like that?” Chauncey laughed. He seemed much less perturbed than the doctor was as he smoothed Monty’s bright feathers. “Surely it wasn’t from you!”

Irving flushed. “N-no, I think his previous owner was—”

“Blackbeard, perhaps?”

“ _Arsehole! Terrible!_ ” 

Irving moaned and buried his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, he’s so awful when Monty is so well-mannered…”

“Don’t trouble yourself!” Chauncey set Monty on the table and embraced Irving. “He’s an ornery little guy, but _you_ are the most caring man I know. If you couldn’t train the cussedness out of him, I doubt anyone could.”

He pulled Irving in for a kiss. It would have been a magical moment if Alcibiades hadn’t decided to come perch on Irving’s shoulder and prod him in the head with his beak. Monty whistled, and Alcibiades stopped bothering the doctor to hop down on the other side of the table.

Irving winced and broke the kiss. Sure, Monty was twice Alcibiades’s size, but Mallow was much larger, and that never stopped Alcibiades from harassing _her_. If Alcibiades attacked Monty, that would be it for Irving and Chauncey, the doctor was sure of it.

The two parrots eyed each other from opposite sides of the table for a moment. Irving held his breath. Then Monty whistled again, and Alcibiades whistled back. They didn’t move any closer, but they seemed to be… chatting? Something civil was happening between them, at least. 

Irving sagged with relief in Chauncey’s arms. Perhaps everything would come out fine after all.


End file.
